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Relationship Advice...

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Since everyone is being so generous and opening up about their lives in Daily Life lately, I thought I'd make a thread for us all to discuss any relationship woes we're having. ;) 

I'm 24 and I've never been on a real date or had a boyfriend in my entire life. :yeah: I thought for a long time it wouldn't happen for me but last year I met a guy. We started out as casual sex partners, but the more I see him the more I like him. I think he feels something for me too, because he's told me he loves me (but it was during sex so idk :cackle:) and he does things most guys wouldn't do like ask me to sleep over, go out clubbing with me and cook me food.

But the problem is that he's not out about his sexuality. He has a girlfriend who thinks they're gonna get married one day, none of his friends accept gay people and his family wouldn't approve of it either. He seems super confused and upset and when he was talking to his girlfriend on the phone the other day it made me sad to hear him so stressed. He's so eaten up by it that he told me he was considering moving to another country for a year just so he can date a guy and see if it's for him without anyone knowing. I want to at worst help him live an out and proud life and at best be in a relationship with him, but I don't know how to help him.

What do you guys think? Is there any point in chasing this, or is it just going to end in heartbreak? I think I know the answer but I just kind of wanted to vent and see if you guys have gone through anything similiar...

Let me know, and share your own troubles with us down below! :magic: 

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I'm not experienced with dating, but judging by what you've explained, that guy has a lot of things to sort out in his life. 

You might feel like it's your duty to try and help him so that both of you can be happy together, but sometimes people need to get their shit together by themselves. 

Imo the best you can do is encourage him without getting involved too much in his decisions, if he does need your help I'm almost certain he will let you know, and who knows, things might turn out well and you two could maintain your relationship! 

I wish you the best of luck with this and if this is your first time feeling this way I'd say you should go for it! I'll be cheering for you <3 Love is something rare that should be cherished, at least while it lasts! 

 

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Your love life sounds like a angsty fanfiction :awkwardney:

No but for real, I would hate to be in your current position tbh. I've never been in a serious relationship either so I don't really know how to help you :/ But you're definitely not the one at fault. That guy needs to figure things out before you give him your heart to break!

Being gay is exhausting... I never really know if a "straight" guy is into me or not. They be sending me mixed signals that just left me confused...

I've been eyeing this guy from my class for a few months now and we ended up making out at his house last week but he just broke up with his girlfriend (and i'm bored :cackle:). We didn't really talk about it the day after, so idk. 2019 is starting real messy for me. :fishie:

Edited by nanapop99

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Does he bang her? Is he bi?

How old is he? 

Sometimes it takes time for people to accept their sexuality to the point of being so open to people about it.

I would suggest, try to spend some great quality time with him. Make him like being gay but don't force anything. Start going to public places like cinemas or restaurants :) Pizzerias are great if you don't want to spend too much money! Eventually, some McDonald's or any other fast food. Car trips are also fine. When I was super closeted, it was basically the only form of interaction with other gays for me and I was always scared of getting raped in the forest :stretcher: but you know each other and it would be fun :)

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Thank you guys for the amazing advice. :yaskween: I'm feeling super sensitive and emotional atm for some reason so hearing all of this from you really means the world. <3 

1 hour ago, Turn Ya Head said:

I'm not experienced with dating, but judging by what you've explained, that guy has a lot of things to sort out in his life. 

You might feel like it's your duty to try and help him so that both of you can be happy together, but sometimes people need to get their shit together by themselves. 

Imo the best you can do is encourage him without getting involved too much in his decisions, if he does need your help I'm almost certain he will let you know, and who knows, things might turn out well and you two could maintain your relationship! 

I wish you the best of luck with this and if this is your first time feeling this way I'd say you should go for it! I'll be cheering for you <3 Love is something rare that should be cherished, at least while it lasts! 

 

You're right. Maybe now I've played him hot, I should go cold so he sees what he's missing and comes back begging for more. :cackle: I'm not 100% sure it's my first time feeling this way, but at the very least it's the first time since high school, so that has to count for something. :awkwardney: 

1 hour ago, nanapop99 said:

Your love life sounds like a angsty fanfiction :awkwardney:

No but for real, I would hate to be in your current position tbh. I've never been in a serious relationship either so I don't really know how to help you :/ But you're definitely not the one at fault. That guy needs to figure things out before you give him your heart to break!

Being gay is exhausting... I never really know if a "straight" guy is into me or not. They be sending me mixed signals that just left me confused...

I've been eyeing this guy from my class for a few months now and we ended up making out at his house last week but he just broke up with his girlfriend (and i'm bored :cackle:). We didn't really talk about it the day after, so idk. 2019 is starting real messy for me. :fishie:

:cackle: You right bitch! I should post this on Tumblr, I bet it would get likes. :wink: 

You're right, it's not my job to sort his life out for him, but I do feel sad when I see how depressed he is. He's a good person and he doesn't deserve to feel this stressed just for wanting to be himself. :(  Little Mix - Secret Love Song.mp3

Do you like the guy you made out with, or was it just a casual thing? :orly: Who initiated the kiss?

55 minutes ago, Tweener said:

Does he bang her? Is he bi?

How old is he? 

Sometimes it takes time for people to accept their sexuality to the point of being so open to people about it.

I would suggest, try to spend some great quality time with him. Make him like being gay but don't force anything. Start going to public places like cinemas or restaurants :) Pizzerias are great if you don't want to spend too much money! Eventually, some McDonald's or any other fast food. Car trips are also fine. When I was super closeted, it was basically the only form of interaction with other gays for me and I was always scared of getting raped in the forest :stretcher: but you know each other and it would be fun :)

I think he might be bi and he apparently does have sex with his girlfriend (maybe once a week or less), but he says it doesn't satisfy him at all and he does it only to make her happy, not because he wants to.

That's really good advice. <3 I was never really in the closet so it's hard for me to understand what he's going through fully but you gave me some idea at least. I did take him to gay club the other night and introduced him to some of my friends which he seemed to really enjoy, so maybe that can help him feel more comfortable in his skin and happy to go out together more. Keep your fingers crossed for me baby!

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I'm 25 years old and I'm a relationship for almost 8 years, we started dating on March 7th, so I'll celebrate this week 😍

But this is not about me, so, here it is my advice for you

Please login or register to see this link.

:

He is definitely in a complicated situation, since he has a girlfriend and none of the people that he shares his life with are open (or at least he doesn't know) about gay people. So, in the first place I guess I would till him to take a break/time from his relationship, not because of you but for himself, because he has to think about his life first and about his feelings, because he is eventually living in a bed of lies, not knowing himself and living with many ghosts on his mind. So that time that he would go to another place wouldn't be that bad for him because he would have finally the time to think about himself and about how he wants to live his life for once!

And then, maybe he could, with gentle conversations, see his friend and family vision about gay people and situations, because I thought, at my time, that my friends wouldn't accept me but they were so happy to share my "secret" with them and they were actually happy for me to being gay because it would be different and I could give some kind of advice, the girls about the boys and, the boys would also know on how to get the girls since I was so close to them. And I only told to my close family last year and at first was a little bit messed up but now everything is fine and I'm in heaven!

But, if you still to see each other, try to introduce himself to the gay culture, to some friend of yours so they can make some kind of bound and live day by day, so both of you can be happy on your own skin. And I wish you both the best, since you are getting so many happy times and sharing so many moments and that's what turns a friendship into relationship and maybe you are meant to be together, who knows? 😊 But if you need any help don't hesitate to ask here or my PM 😊

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