Kesha Slays

@Kipper You're right. Words can't even begin to explain what I'm feeling as of lately. Just yesterday, I felt like I was experiencing 50 different emotions all at once and I don't want that to happen again. I really haven't been feeling very loved as of recent. I mean, who kicks family out during a time of crisis? I know I wouldn't even think about doing that (but my brother and his girlfriend did).That really hurt my heart. I love you and Dax, Main Pop Girl, Cypher, plus so many more kind people on this forum. Y'all have really been there for me these past couple months and I highly appreciate that from the bottom of my heart. ❤️❤️❤️

@Main Pop Girl Ain't that the truth! I thought I was just overcoming the loss of my beloved pet, who I adored so much, but I was taken back and knocked to the ground by the very unexpected loss of my father. I need all the love, positivity and strength I can muster up. Idk if I'll see the colors over the rainbow anytime soon, but it's nice to have hope even if everything seems rather hopeless right now. I love you and I appreciate all the kindness you've showed me these past few years! You're iconic inside and out! 

I lost my dad two years ago, I’m not over it and I don’t think I ever will be. I maybe could have phrased that better, it’s more a question of ‘holding it together’ at that point (so soon after), as opposed to actually ‘being okay’.

I did not want to think about or go into it that deeply because even now I fear that in doing so it will only dredge the raw pain of that time period back up.

It’s sometimes difficult to find exactly the right words on occasions of that nature. I just wanted to recognise and express empathy with your predicament at this time (without being brave enough to reflect upon or open back up my own), so I skimmed the surface.

To further complicate matters I had to deal with an attitude from others of “oh, he’s a gay guy.. they are so weak aren’t they? How is he going to cope emotionally with and get through something like this without falling apart”?

There is no point in sugar coating it, you are experiencing and will continue to experience for some time a raw pain quite unlike anything you have ever experienced before!

From time to time down the years, a phrase “The human condition” - would sometimes appear on my radar, it sounded big and fancy but I never ever had any actual clue what it even meant. Having experienced what you are going through in the present - I now know what that phrase means in real terms.

I also lost all pleasure from listening to music at that point and I wasn’t sure that love was something that would ever return. I later learned it’s something that’s not unusual when experiencing grief.