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So all of you should know who my wife Jodi Foster is, (Taxi Driver, Silence Of The Lambs, Freaky Friday, Foxes, Panic Room. Flightplan, The Brave One & Nims Island are some of her most famous flawless films) Well, we've been in a loving imaginary relationship since I was 11 and first discovered her beauty, talent, and all around bad assness. Anyway, she made her officially public coming out statement last night at the Golden Globes; though she's made public remarks about her lover (me) several times before. She also subtly announced her retirement from acting so she can spend the rest of her days making sweet sweet love with me which is bullshit because I need more of her sexy goodness on my t.v.

"While I

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